Every behavior has meaning. The defiance is a person testing the walls of a label to see if there is room beyond it. The withdrawal is a person retreating from a world that stopped answering back. The meltdown is a nervous system that ran out of borrowed calm. The obsession (the insects, the drawings, the same book seven times) is not a distraction from the real work; it is the first signal of what this particular person is made for. Children can be evaluated a thousand times and never once be needed, and it is the needing that grows them. Your child can survive being measured all day at school if there is one room in their life (your kitchen, your table, your car) where they are simply known. Pick the one behavior that frustrates you most and ask: what is this a window into? Then answer the need instead of the behavior, once, and watch.